FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW TO ELOPE

All the questions you’ve ever wanted to ask about how to elope.

I believe choosing to elope means choosing your love and your vision over any and every obligation, expectation, and pressure you might be feeling. Elopements are for the brave of heart – those willing to go against the status quo to create a magical, once-in-a-lifetime day that’s true to who they are, what they want, and is the best reflection of their love. It’s a wedding celebration specifically crafted for you!

Choosing to elope doesn’t mean you won’t have questions while planning. Listen, I get it. I know eloping might seem confusing, especially the logistics and legalities surrounding elopements. I know saying “just do what you want” falls way short of the reality! Planning a wedding, even one that you’ve tweaked and personalized to fit your relationship, takes a bit of research – good thing I’ve figured out a lot of the logistics for you!

Keep reading! I’ve laid out a few the most commonly asked questions I get from couples when dealing with elopement legalities and logistics.

Keep in mind that no amount of paperwork should ever complicate your elopement day—get things done at whatever pace or timeline works best for you. If you don’t want to deal with legalities on your elopement day at all, we’ve got advice for that too!

Q: Can we invite people to our elopement?

A: It’s your elopement day – who you invite is entirely up to you.

Generally I don’t ever photograph celebrations with more than 25 guests for elopements, but there isn’t an exact number that specifies an elopement versus a wedding.

Whether you want to go on an adventure just the two of you, or you want to invite your closest friends and family – you can do it! Invite who you want, whether that’s your entire family, just your sister, your dog, your grandmother, your best friend, or even just the two of you. It’s your magical, amazing day—you get to decide every perfect detail of it.

ELOPEMENT DAY GUEST OPTIONS:

1. Invite no one – elope just the two of you (and a photographer!)

2. Invite family & friends (up to 25 people!)

3. Invite only an officiant & two witnesses (to satisfy a legal requirement)

An elopement is for the people who want nothing more than to spend, a day, two days – however long – basking in the intimate, meaningful moment where they choose to commit their lives to each other. There’s no rule on who can and can’t be there to support you during this amazing experience.

Q: What happens during an elopement ceremony?

A: Whatever you want – but there are some “typical” actions I can list.

Remember earlier when I said elopements don’t have rules? I meant it. That means your elopement ceremony can be anything you want it to be – you can (and should) do everything exactly the way you want to. However, if you’re looking for ceremony inspiration – I’ve got you covered!

YOUR ELOPEMENT CEREMONY COULD INCLUDE:

1. Your own vows! Throw out the traditional script and write your own vows – tell your partner exactly what you want to say to them on your wedding day.

2. Exchange rings or any other symbol of your love!

3. “Firsts” – kisses, dances, ascents, cheers, shouts of “we’re married!” from a mountaintop. Mark this day with memorable experiences!

4. Sage smudging, handfasting, or any other religious or cultural experience appropriate for you.

5. Unity ceremonies or custom ceremonies.

6. This is time to showcase unique talents or exciting surprises! Do you sing or play an instrument? Write or perform a song for your love!

You’re already throwing tradition by saying “yes” to a customized elopement experience instead of a traditional wedding – why not keep that going? Have the elopement ceremony you’ve always wanted by including any experiences and components that make you the happiest.

Q: How do we choose where to elope?

A: This is one of the greatest things about eloping – you can go anywhere you want!

There’s so much beautiful freedom in that possibility, but we also know how overwhelming too many options can be. How can you possibly pick the perfect place to elope?

For just a moment forget logistics, forget complications, forget parameters – ask yourself the most important question: if you could elope anywhere in the world, where would it be? Run with it.
Embrace it. Explore it. Pick the location that speaks to you. The place where you and your love will come alive, and where you’ll be happiest – that’s how you choose where to elope!

Q: How do I legally elope? How is it a legal marriage?

A: This depends on where you live & where you elope.

Choosing to spend your life with your partner might have been an easy decision – you might even be one of the lucky ones who’s finding wedding planning to be a breeze.

Unfortunately, the logistics of elopements are a bit complicated.

Essentially, where you live and where you move to will affect everything about what path to becoming legally married works best for you! There’s no simple answer that will apply to all eloping couples, but I will gladly help you navigate the systems where you are to get you eloped, and legally married!

Q: Is eloping legal?

A: Yes, but you probably want to know a little more.

It makes sense an elopement doesn’t feel like a traditional wedding (which, to be fair, is sort of the point), but that often means couples are left wondering if their adventurous, stunning elopement is actually legal in the eyes of the law. In short – YES, eloping is legal. But, it’s also not always that easy.

An elopement is totally recognized as legal as long as you’re abiding by the rules and regulations of the state or country you’re choosing to get married in.

That said, your elopement day – the day you’re saying your vows, committing your lives to each other, and becoming partners forever – doesn’t absolutely have to include you getting legally married.

If your plans don’t align with the rules of the place where you want to elope, you don’t have to get legally married there. You can still have your elopement adventure there, just don’t do the legal stuff. If the waiting period or the rule or the red tape in that place bother you, don’t mess with it.

A lot of eloping couples choose not to mess with paperwork on their day. Instead, they have their ceremonies exactly as they want – often without an officiant, witnesses, or even signing their licenses – and then deal with legalities at another time.

FACT: YOUR WEDDING DAY IS THE DAY YOU CHOOSE TO SAY YOUR VOWS AND COMMIT YOUR LIVES TO EACH OTHER – THE GOVERNMENT DOESN’T GET TO CHOOSE THAT.

The paperwork, the license, the officiants, the witnesses—all of that can come later (or before) your unique, intentional ceremony.

Q: Do we need a wedding officiant for our elopement?

A: That depends on local laws, but mostly just whether you want one

This is another short-and-long answer because it totally depends on where you’re planning to elope and whether the day of your elopement is also the day you get married. Seeing a pattern yet?
Every state and every country has its own marriage laws, so the requirements are going to vary from place to place:

Some states require you to have an officiant on your wedding day if you want to be legally recognized as married. Some places (like Virginia) require you to have a judge, a minister, or a person appointed by the court to act as your officiant. Some states even let you self-solemnize (which, we love and will totally get into in a moment).

The reality is, every single state and country is going to have a different rule on officiants –
but, there are a few fun ways to get around that rule while still having the elopement day of your dreams.

Another way to include an officiant is to have your family members, friends, or other meaningful people get ordained so they can marry you. If you don’t love the idea of having a stranger act as your officiant – ask a friend! We’ve seen grandmothers, best friends, siblings, parents, and more all officiate elopements. Every time, it’s meaningful, beautiful, and super intimate.

Finally, my favorite option is for you to have a commitment ceremony during your elopement – save the legal stuff for a different day! For a lot of couples the logistics and legalities of marriage don’t actually define their relationship at all, and aren’t the reason they’re choosing to elope.

TAKING CARE OF THE LEGALITIES ANOTHER DAY DOESN’T MAKE YOUR ELOPEMENT ANY LESS IMPORTANT THAN A WEDDING WHERE YOU SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE.

Q: What is self-solemnizating ceremony?

A: My favorite kind of wedding (only kind of kidding) – I really love this

Self-solemnizing is a super awesome law (only recognized by a few US states) recognizing marriage ceremonies as legal. In the most basic terms, self-solemnization grants you and your partner the power to marry each other! You don’t need an officiant, and you don’t need a witness – you don’t need anything but yourselves and your love!

States that allow self-solemnization:

1. Colorado

2. Pennsylvania

3. Wisconsin

4. Washington D.C.

You’ll still have to fill out your marriage license and file it with the state, but you and your love are the ones who get to sign as your own officiants!

(PS. If you’re getting married in a self-solemnizing state, you can include your dog in your ceremony as a witness)

Q: Do we need witnesses for our elopement ceremony?

A: This depends on the laws of your state and county

This answer is a lot like the officiant question – it totally depends on where you’re planning to elope!
Remember, every state and country has different rules for how couples are legally recognized as married. Some states don’t require witnesses at all, whereas some might.

If you are set on getting legally married on your elopement day in an area requiring witnesses, there are tons of ways to go about making this happen:

1. You can bring along two friends or two family members with you to act as your witnesses. Have them fulfill their legal obligation and then give you privacy for your own intimate ceremony— or, make them part of your day.

2. You can ask strangers who happen to be present where you are! We can’t tell you the number of times we’ve hiked up a trail, found some fellow hikers, and asked them if they’d do the honors of being a couple’s witnesses. It’s a fun and spontaneous way to meet the legal marriage requirements. (Personally, if someone asked me that randomly on a trail I’d be so excited to help).

Again, you also don’t have to mess around with the rules and regulations.
If you want to have your elopement day in a state or country that requires witnesses, but you really want to spend the day with just your love – don’t worry about it. Choose to have your elopement day wherever and however you want and deal with the legalities and logistics at home.

Q: What if we legally don’t get married on our elopement day?

A: Happens all the time – no one says you have to get legally married to consider yourself life partners

The truth is, the paperwork part isn’t always important to everyone. The day you sign on the dotted line isn’t what matters most – what matters is when you decide to commit!
If you are dead-set on getting married in a state or country where you really just don’t vibe with the rules and regulations of their marriage laws – just don’t bother getting legally married. It really is that simple. No, it doesn’t mean your marriage is invalid. It just means you can’t file taxes jointly yet.
Have the elopement day you want and don’t sweat the small stuff (I’m a firm believer in keeping the paperwork as stress-free as possible).

Don’t worry about getting legally married on your elopement day! Instead:

Climb a mountain in Switzerland.
Explore the white sands of New Mexico.
Backpack to a moody spot in the PNW.
Bungee jump off a bridge in New Zealand.

Do whatever the two of you truly want to do on your elopement day and get legally married another time. You can go into the courthouse and sign the papers whenever. Or, have a little separate ceremony with family and friends where you sign your license.
Your elopement day isn’t your wedding because you’re signing your license, it’s your wedding because you’re choosing each other forever – over and over again – in a place unique and meaningful to the both of you.

DON’T LET THE LEGALITIES STRESS YOU OUT—GET MARRIED THE WAY YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO AND LET US HELP YOU WORK OUT THE LOGISTICS FOR YOUR DREAM ELOPEMENT. LET US GUIDE YOU

Q: What if we want to get legally married on our elopement day?

A: Do it! I’ll help you figure out what it’ll take

It’s totally possible to get legally married and have an adventurous elopement at the same time, but it might require jumping through a few hoops.

That’s not always a bad thing, it just means you’ll make sure you’re abiding by that state or country’s waiting period, marriage license rules, and ceremony regulations. If you’re getting married in the US usually the biggest complications are a waiting period, a legal officiant, and witnesses.

If you’re planning to elope in another country and want to be legally married there, it can get a little bit complicated. Some countries’ rules aren’t complex. For example: To elope in Iceland one of the only requirements is that you have an Icelandic officiant at your ceremony – which isn’t very difficult.

However, eloping in another country can also be really complicated and require tons of time and effort to make sure everything is legal.

Wherever you choose to elope, make sure you’re doing all the research needed ahead of time if you want to get legally married at the same time.

Q: What if we’re already legally married on our elopement day?

A: Sweet! Now all you have to do is plan a sweet celebration!

You’ve already taken care of the paperwork side and you’re free to have the day you’ve always dreamed of!

Already being legally married doesn’t lessen the importance of your elopement.

Couples get legally married before their elopement for a lot of different reasons. Some couples will sign their paperwork ahead of time for health benefits, tax breaks, immigration, or convenience – that’s perfectly OK.

Just because you’re already married in the eyes of the law doesn’t mean the day you signed your paperwork is your wedding day. Every couple deserves to create the elopement experience that’s the most meaningful, beautiful day of their lives. You can craft the your marriage experience in whatever way makes sense to you!

The paperwork and government technicalities shouldn’t get in the way of that.

Q: Is it difficult to get legally married in another country?

A: This totally depends on where you’re from and where you’re eloping

This is sort of a yes and no answer because truthfully, it totally depends on so many factors.
Some countries are pretty easy, but more often than not it’s going to be more difficult and complicated to be legally married in another country on the day you’re choosing to elope.

Why? Because a lot of countries require things that could complicate your elopement adventure – longer waiting periods, blood work, and other intricacies.

In fact, if you’re really set on getting legally married in another country on the day of your elopement, you might have to hire a wedding planner in that country to help you prep and ensure you’re checking everything off the list.

It can be complex to make this happen. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t still have your elopement day there!

JUST BECAUSE YOU WON’T BE LEGALLY MARRIED IN THE COUNTRY OF YOUR DREAMS DOESN’T MEAN THAT YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR ELOPEMENT DAY IN THE COUNTRY OF YOUR DREAMS.

I 100 percent support (and personally resonate with) the belief that your wedding day should be recognized as the day that you say your vows to your partner – not the day you sign your marriage license.

If you both want to get married in a beautiful, epic country but don’t want to jump through the hoops to be legally married there – just don’t.

The fact is, your elopement day – the day you’re saying vows and adventuring together – is your wedding day whether you’ve already signed your paperwork or not.